Bleep bleep, bleep bleep bleep.

Why so angry, eh? You’ll give yourself a heart attack.

How can I tell my ravenous neighbor I’m not interested in exploring her aging estate, only her money?

If she’s really that decrepit, forget honesty being the best policy, I think Life Insurance would be the best policy.

(note, the replies are priceless)

[source via KatieC24]

[s

How come so many peopel dont lick justin Beiber?

mmmmm, finger-lickin’ god.

… and what’s with his name. Is it, lick, Beiber or lick, Bieber?

[source via Jaysin]

PSYCHICS I NEED YOUR HELP PLZ ITS AN EMERGENCY?

Annoyingly, your friend’s wallet is exactly where she left it. And what’s with the vagina reference, anyway?

[source via Haley]