My boyfriend is freaking me out. He said he wants to eat my ***** but I don’t have a cat?

OK, Kitty, that’s enough trolling for today.

[source via Melissa]

Can some one help me?

OK, first up, which which would you like to be?

Next. Let’s work on the spelling before the spells.

[source via Claudia]

Best Prostitute Name?

I though this was very good advice:

“just add ‘lil’ or ‘baby’
To whatevers your moms name is
-Hope it helps”

But scroll to the bottom of the answers where someone shares some good old-fashioned college humor like:

She’ll keep your teeth white and your heart pumpin, let’s give it up for TOOTHPASTE!!”
Coming straight out of South America is a Columbian beauty who you wouldn’t mind waking up to every morning. She’ll keep you on your toes… and on your back with her sweet and fresh aroma. gentleman, give it up for COFFEE BEAN!!”
She comes……. in the mail every month. She’s hot. She’s sexy… Give it up for COUPON!!”

[source via Natana]

Bleep bleep, bleep bleep bleep.

Why so angry, eh? You’ll give yourself a heart attack.