My mom won’t let me roller skate?

I’m with Matt on this one

[source]

What is that thing in between my groins?

Groins? You have more than one groins?

Do yo have more than one thing that sticks up?

Are you the Medusa of the Things That Stick UP Between Your Groins?

[source: spotted by Nick the Dude]

Is a 49 year old woman too old to sing “My Humps” at karaoke?

QUOTE: “the thought of that is giving me a rection and i haven’t had one of them in 20 years”

Go for it, sister. Give them all “rections”.

[source: Thanks, Brian]

How do you identify if a child is “lost”?

Probably if they’re in the company of someone named “pedobear”.

… or as Matt says: Check it’s collar.

[source: Matt, who has been busy]